I Sam.l Tippett have thought it might not be amiss to leave the following lines behind me I was Born in the year of our Lord in 1711 In the Parrish of Bitton, in the Hamlet of Oland My Father died when I was young, my mother kept me to school tho with some difficulty, For I was of a light turn of mind and giving very much to play with other Boys which made my mother pretty sharp with me, Tho at some times I should have sarious thoughts and think what will become of me when I die and should wish I had never been born or died when I had been at my mothers breast, Then I thought I should went to Heaven, But who knows what will become of me now, I have been such a bad Boy, and told so many lies, and said nasty words, and many of the like thoughts would come into my mind, Then I should think to be better and not do so nomore, and often wish I had one or two little Boys of my mind to go to Church and to be good and to live a Religious life, and did often times wish I had liv'd in the days of our Saviour, and think how I wou'd have lov'd Him and follow'd him had it been even to death, so that when I did Read of His death and sufferings. I should melt into tears, so that I was fors't to give over Reading, although it was the only place that I did love to Read in; But once above all the rest as I was rocking the cradle looking in
a little Book as I met with by chance I felt something in my Heart that I never felt before, and had it been possible I cou'd then even sunk into nothing in tears of love before the Lord Jesus and the Covenant that I made with Him that evening I though then to have kept to all the days of my Life, But this soon wear'd of, and for want of care taken as I grew biger my corruped nature grew stronger and stronger and led me more and more captive, at Ten years of age or these about I went to work in the Coal Pitt amongs't other other bad Boys, though my Mother porswade my to go a Prentis but I cou'd not bear the though of loosing my companion, and be confind, But as I grew in years older and older at last I thought to make my self happy in what the world called merry company, But twas all in vain, for I was disapointed in every thing that I did take in hand, So that often times in the midts of mirth I should have such heapiness of spirit come upon me that I did not know what to do, some times I did endeavour to pass it away by singing or Dancing or such like, and some times leave my company, and think if I was with
with other company then perhaps i should be better satisfied, but this would not do for twas all in vain, for when i was coming home my heart would begin to smite me. thinking where have i been and what will become of me if i go on at this rate, then i should make many resolutions not to do no more of beg of lord to forgive me, but in a few days all my resolutions would be broken and i should think it is fine enough if for me to turn may live a great while, i am but young if as my father died in of consumption to may i an then it will be time enough to represent if turn to the lord but this would not satisfy my poor mind long together, for when my thoughts of dying suddenly or being killed in if did come in mind i did not know what to do, but should beg of lord to spare me a little longer, for i could not bear thoughts of leaving world in of condition i was then in, this i went on for many years together sinning if responding striving to get happiness in my pleasures of this life is positive but i was all in vain, for i was disappointed in all my
ways that I did think to get happiness in, abought this time I goot aguainted with my dear wife and was maried into the year 1736 by whome I have had Eleven Children, For the first two years and more I went on in my old cource of life with my merry Company thinking by & by it will be better, but I new not how for I was disapointed in every thing and all that I took in hand seem'd to make against me; that I knew not which way I shou'd come through in the world about this time Mr. Whitfield came in these parts and I went to hear him at a place cal'd Hannam Mount, He spoke of the Prodigal son returning to his Father and of our fall by nature and how willing Jesus Christ was to receive every returning sinner, He painted my case and condition as tho he new me from the very bottom, and envited all such poor sinners to Jesus Christ in a loving manner, I thought this was to good news to be believ'd that ever he cou'd receive or look upon such a poor reck as I was who had been fighting against him
all the days of my life, But this seem'd as a Hook in my Heart for some days, Tho I was asham'd to let any one know anything about it, But I thought if this be true there is nothing in all the world shall hinder me till I know he have receiv'd me, if he will except of the such a poor sinner as I am, soon after this hear'd Mr Sennick under the secumore Tree near Mr Wesleys scool it being the first or second time of his preaching, But I had not been there many minutes but my heart was all most ready to break, He spoke from the first chapter of Saint John and something of his own experience which came near my heart thinking to my self what shall I do to be sav'd, my sins as if weare steard me in the face, my companians and all I thought wou'd be witness against me at the Last Day, and as I had not been the ruination of my own poor soul but theirs also, and now I was a mark for every one to laugh at, and many more of the like expression was the languige of my poor heart for the whole sermon I stood in amaze asham'd to look anyone in the face thinking no ones condition like mine in the whole world, but yet thought how glad I shou'd be if I cou'd but get aquainted with that man and look'd after him till he was gone out of my sight, But in less then a fortnight I and two more
went to Bristol and I inquired where he lied and got him over to Kingswood with us that night, He slept at my House and I never thought my self so happy in all my former compoany as I did when I was along with him, if often did on bosom my mind into him as my only friend, but about this time I heard Mr Wesloy preach up a self denial life, how we should live and walk which put me to work I caused me many akin heart after word, so that I did often times with I could never eat drink nor sleep no more until I did know the Lord Jesus did love me I had forgiven me my sins, then I was confirmed went to the sacrament thinking to find ease there, but I found it quite to the contrary, for this added to my trouble that I was more condonned than ever thinking no ones condition like mine in the whole world,tossed to and forget rest for my poor heart but could find none, and was often times making of resolutions to get into the woods, or to some retired place where I might spend the rest of my days and never eat nor drink no more till I did know that Jesus Christ did love me, but in this I was also disappointed for go where I would if uneasiness of my heart and the thoughts of leaving this world that know I should be saved would make me in such a
condition that I did not know what to do with myself. The some times in midst of all although would dash into my mind, who knows but I shall be said at last, perhaps if Lord do love me he have promised to save such ones as in my condition therefore I will never rest free I know that he have said me, about this time I and four more was taken into a band by Mr Sennick at Mr Wesloy, scool where we met constant together every week for some time I not without a lifeliving, about this time I was very near like to be killed two or three times in the pitt and by some other accident, if one of the times my hurt was pretty bad not I thought has spard my life if not called me away in the condition I was then in though of if same time I did not know that any one had any thing to righteous life, I fasted two or three times every week, I prayed perhaps ten or twenty times every day as after as I had opportunity, I went to my sacrament every month, Every hour that I did steps I did think twas time lost, and did often times wish I could never sleep no more, my countenance did betray my poor miserable heart, some times with heats a sigh would bust from my heart O that I did but know if Lord Jesus, or was afraid of his love
to my poor heart, though sometimes between while a thought would dart into my mind who knows but I shall be saved at last perhaps jesus do love me. if one promise after another would come into my mind that my very heart would leap for day but soon after i should give all over and think it was something of my own making and getting into my old course of duties as before, till at last i was a weary of my left righteous life, for if more i did strive of faster i was so that i did not love to hear so much of simple doings for i found it was all nothing but stuff and with a full determination thought if i porrith i will porrith at of feel of jesus as a poor sinner, for i was a sensible that nothing could satisfy my poor heart but Him, and about this time as I was in a coal pitt making my complaint to if Lord Jesus as I use to do had i but a minute time, but all of a sudden it was as though he spoke to me i am could if do love thee but what if i felt in my heart that moment words who felt in my hear that moment words all my uneasiness of heart was gone in a moment, and Him whom i looked upon before as being angry with me i found was my best friend in the whole world that it been possible i could then.
even sunk into nothing or went home to him that very moment, this lasted upon and down with me for some time until the wickedness of my Heart began to appear, which made me think I had decieved myself, though at times I did feel to the contract I could not give it up, about this as perfection reprobation and and if like which put me to reasoning often times made me uneasy in my mind whom I did enter upon them, we had several meetings to try to reconcile it but to no purpose, for in a little time Brother Sennick and twenty four more of us was put out along with him out of the society, we went to look a little room where we did meet together every evening and had a pretty feeling amongst us, until at last our number increased so fast that the place we had taken was to little to hold us so that when we had a love feast for want the room we was forced to keep it in the open fields and the spirit of love was felt amongst us, so that many of those that did stand of at distance at the outside of hedges that did not belong to us did not go away without a blessing, but as winter was coming on Brother Sennick was resould to build a school house, bought a piece of ground and had it covered before winter though there was many operations made
against it, there is together in love and our saviour was other times feeling in my mind we was soon form'd into classes or bands by who we look'd upon as our chief labourer that went in and out before you, my heart felt well at that time so that i could keep band with our saviour as though there was but he and i in of whole world, but some time after this brethren cennik plan began to get wider in Willtshear of many other places, so that he could not be so much at kingswood as before so that many others was in place when he was absent, the enemy seeing that we was like to come to something soon found out away to put a stop to our happiness by something up dochins of many other truths an of place of Jesus Christ this offer times make me heavy if conserved when i began to see what confusion was creeping in amongst us, but in ye year i went to london with br connick there i heard brother gomball, rogers, hutton, it was in some of brother company several times while i stayed there which often times made me wish to see your spirit of love and hearing of kingswood as i say was amongst them, but after i came home instead of seeing it better it grew worse
if worse, so that our number which was in the society of about 80 or so was soon reduced to 50 or so, this caused me pain, and made me make my complain to our savior as though there was but he and I in the whole world, out reaching was all dropped and I knew not what if end of it would be, then I with the consent of 2 or 3 more wrote to Brother and begged that they would come and labour among'st us, and their answer was get they did not see their call quite clear from our savior but so soon as they did they would gladly run to our assistance, four or five brother of us met together every sunday morning making our complaint- one to another and our dear saviour was often times near our hearts, and sunday afternoon our little society of about 20 or 30 did meet together and thus we went on together for sometime, being look'd upon as a stubborn people that a mark for every one to laugh at as for my own part i meet with many trials on every ride, my nearest kindred was set against me and those that before was my bosom friends forsook me and look'd upon me with disdain, this and many more to mention made me often times make my
Complaint to the Lord Jesus, Looking upon my self as having no friend in the whole world but Him to make my complaint to and had not his dear nearness often times comforted my Poor Heart I could not have come through in these troublesome times, I continu'd writing to the Brethren as often as Opportunity arriv'd because it was so in my Heart could I but be under their came I should be then in my right place, In the years 46 Mr Steele one of the Brethren came to Kingswood & Preach'd in Cennicks Scool House, & in my Evening I {ac}cept a Harty Band with him conserning the many things that had happen'd amongs't us, But just after I parted from him not far from the place where our Chapple stands I had such a feeling of our Saviours Love that I stood still in amaze{ment} & said Dear Savior how is this that I feel in my Heart so much Love to these People power'd out my whole Heart to Him in a child like manner & pray'd that He would keep me in the storm
That I say was comin upon me, Soon after this Mr Horn which was the labourer at Wilshear came & Preach'd twice in Cennick school, and I felt my Heart united to Him & tould him the many disputes that had been a- mongst us, And our Saviour blessed our conversation that it was as though a Burden had been taken from me, or as a prisoner set free Especially when he told me as I might look upon my self as under their care & that our saviour had made it out that they should come once a month & labour amongs't us, this was agreeable news to me, & to many of those that did meet along with me, But in a few weeks Them that had left us disputed about Cennciks right to the school because He was gone to the Brethren & took it away by violence without Brother Cennicks knowing any thing about it, Then after that was taken away from us we remov'd to Brother Cennicks own house where his sister then lived, & though our company was but small yet we had many pretty opportunities to the satisfaction of many Heart, But the Enemy not willing to leave no stone onturn'd soon
found out away to drive us from there also, then by of advice of Mr Horn, if to that did alright us from wilshear we removed meetings to my own house where we continued for some time with many blessings, and in a year we was visited by many of our Joannas Nichman, Bealer, Marshall, Colast, HornSennick of many others by whom my heart was refreshed if comforted many a time about this time my mother went home she was one of our society and she expressed her happiness to one of our sister of right before, which was last that she spoke with, soon after this by of consent of the Brother we removed our meeting into her House, where we continued for some years, and though it was but a little house and our company small yet our saviour's sweet nearness was felt amongst us which did often make my poor heart blush for shame, and allow hardily do I with this happy
Feeling to all those that are taken up with so many things besides Jesus Christ, and as yet do not see Him the one thing need full, In the year 1754the Disciple came to Bristoll wherein I had an opportunity to tell Him how I felt my Heart towards the Brethren for many years past, and that I was willing to cast my lot with them above all people in the whole world, He tould me I should & accordingly gave me leave to write to him when he return'd to London, There in I expres't my mind more fuller, some- time after then I had leave to go to London & to be at the Synod at Chelsy House which proved a blessing to my heart & at times I shall never forget what I say heard & felt, Heare I must stop with a blushing face before our saviour & thank him with a thousand Tears that ever twas my lot to be brought to those people who preach the Torments of Jesus, whose lives is not dear to them so they can but bring souls to him & be Happy, January the 26th 1755 the Congregation
was setl'd at Bristoll a Day that I long'd with to see for many years, and had my lot to be one amongs't the rest This was a Day that had it been possible I cou'd have sunk into nothing for shame and unworthiness before my Dear Savior who have done so much for me & brought me to His people at last with home I am determined to spend the rest of my days was it at the loss of all things or let the consequence be what it will, so I have good but his sweet nearness to support me thats enough for me, In the following year August the 22 {17}56 it was agreed upon to have a Chappell & Burring Ground at Kingwood which I had often times wish to see before I went home, and accordinly he have granted my request in that and many things more for which I thank Him Hartilly and now what my poor Heart have felt in that place I wish to all those that shall hear my dear brethren
After my decease, For I wish well to His cause poor & needy as I am, and do Daily pray that I may have him near my poor heart while I am hear, For I have no friend in this world that I can unburden my mind to as I can write him, for the older i get the more trouble I meet with, so that I have more need of him now then ever and do often times wish that I could lose myself in his company & never dispart from him no more, For when i feel his sweet nearness I want nothing else but to be lost in Him and the outward circumstances & family affairs have taken up to much of my time & caused me pain, yet my best friend is faithfull unto me, & in his due time will put all these things to right, In the meantime while I am hear below may that be my chief concern to have him near my poor Heart in my old years & then it will all end well